Living with housemates, especially those who you were friends with before moving in together, can be an appealing yet daunting decision to make. Many have shared their horror stories about moving in with their best friends, and that causing their friendship to fall apart. Therefore, when I decided to move in with my best friends, I was very excited but also nervous.
Before committing to living with someone, it is important to consider your lifestyles, and to think if any differences you have as people could potentially interfere with your living situation. For example, are you an early riser and is your roommate the type to sleep in? Or are you a night owl, and they live for their early nights. If you guys are opposites, are you okay with them being loud at night, or are you aware they may not want you to be too loud in the morning? These are just a few things to consider, and going over these habits ahead of time can help gauge compatibility, and even if you guys are opposites, it depends if you both are comfortable and willing to adapt to these differences. Luckily for me, all my housemates and I are on similar schedules. We like to have classes early in the morning, as that ensures we get up at a reasonable time. Therefore, since we collectively have early classes, that means we are all in bed at reasonable hours of the night, therefore noise is not an issue for any of us late at night. I was lucky with this, as we all have schedules that align with each other, making it easy to avoid conflicts with setting curfews or 鈥渜uiet hours鈥.
Additionally, there is no clear or one specific definition of a 鈥減erfect鈥 roommate. However, one thing that can benefit you both is ensuring you are honest and transparent with each other. Having the important talks before moving in or in the early stages, like money, chores, having guests over, quiet hours, etc. are all key things to address. This is important as you both can outline your expectations and agree upon rules, to prevent awkwardness or tension further down the road. For my friends and I, we were all on similar budgets before moving in. We discussed the importance of being mindful of peak utility times, for example doing laundry during cheaper hours, such as after 7pm. We also always ensure to check in with each other, whether that be through a text on our house group chat, to notify the others if we have a guest coming, to make sure everyone was comfortable with that. This was crucial in avoiding conflicts, as it made sure no one was completing a quiz in their room at that time or had to have an early night due to a commitment the following day, interfering with their quiet time.
Moreover, while moving in with people you see as close friends can seem appealing, it is important to consider that friendships may not always transition into successful roommate dynamics. For instance, are there things that they do that may annoy you, that you fear may cause some bumps in the road down the line if you decide to live with them? For example, if they are messy, are you able to have the patience to deal with that daily? If not, you may want to find a roommate more compatible with your habits or routines, without having to potentially sacrifice a friendship. There were certainly times where my roommates have done things that annoy me, and I am sure I have gotten on their nerves at some points. The important thing is that we were close enough as friends to be able to address each other's concerns, and work through our differences together, which helped us significantly reduce arguments.
Personally, there are some of my best friends who I see every day, but who I cannot see myself living with. This is not to say I do not like them enough to live with them or anything, in fact, some of my closest friends are the ones who I do not live with. This is because we both know we hang around each other too much that it would be too distracting, and we would never focus or get our schoolwork done. This is also the case with one of my other best friends, who is in my program, so we have almost identical class schedules. We collectively knew that we could not live together, as spending almost every day from 9am-5pm together in class, then going home together would be overdoing it, potentially straining our relationship. Therefore, it is important that we still hang out daily, like at a cafe or at the library, but we each have our personal spaces to decompress and go back to and focus if needed.
With that being said, there are many aspects that go into finding good roommates and finding people you are compatible with. There will always be ups and downs in living situations, especially during stressful times, like midterm or exam season. Therefore, being patient, respectful, and keeping an open mind are what will help you compromise during disputes and work through your differences. Remember that everyone has their own habits that are unique and although you may not agree, it is a learning process to accept. Living with others can be a very rewarding and fun experience, and open communication is the key to make sure everyone feels at home. Living away from home at university can be challenging for everyone, so having a strong foundation and being with people you are compatible with can make for a very positive university experience.